The Things We Agree To When We're Drunk!

So far summer has been a bit of a wash-out, which is a huge disappointment to me because I spend the whole year looking forward to those few weeks of warm, sunny weather.  Thankfully though, I’ve booked myself a trip to Corfu in September so I do have a bit of sunshine coming my way.  I’m lucky enough to travel to Europe quite a bit with work; however this will be my first proper “beach holiday” in three years!

 

It has got me thinking though… the idea of being “beach-body-ready” ties my stomach up in knots.  I haven’t felt good in a swimsuit since…well actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever felt good in a swimsuit!  The last time I probably looked any good, would have been when I was too young to realise that looking good was necessary!

 

It’s one of the main reasons that I decided to join WW.  I know I’m not going to miraculously drop five stone in a couple of months; however I do think I’ll be able to lose enough to feel a little less wobbly in my one-piece.

 

At my first meeting, our leader Karen spoke to us about international cuisine, and challenged us to find ways to adapt some of our holiday favourites to make them SP friendly.  I thought about all the lovely salads and tapas that I generally eat when I’m abroad, and this week I’ve made sure that I’m building my recipes around a more Mediterranean theme.   Reduced fat humus and celery sticks are my go-to snack at the moment, (very unlike me - I usually only enjoy celery as a stirrer in Bloody Mary!) and for a real taste of summer, I’ve discovered my childhood favourite ice lolly (Jubblies) are only 1SP…which has made me deliriously happy. 

 

With summer however, comes the ritual BBQ, which we Brits like to enjoy regardless of the weather from June through to September.  Each year my friend’s husband has a birthday BBQ in July (‘cos, y’know…that’s when his birthday is!) and it’s pretty much standard for me to have far too much to drink, and embarrass myself somehow.  As two of his only childless acquaintances, my friend Corinne and I tend to rock up and hit the cocktails hard.  I’m pretty sure his friends with young families either judge us horrendously as some kind of “Eddie & Patsy” display of shocking morals, or they watch in amusement and look back with rose coloured spectacles on their single days.  I haven’t yet been able to work out which it is!

 

However this year, the BBQ took an unexpected turn, when after cocktail number six, someone floated the idea of running the Wolf Run in the Spring.  For those who don’t know what the Wolf Run is, it’s a 5 or 10km run and obstacle course, where super-doopa-fit-athlete types, try to get round a cold muddy torture race without dying.  Naturally this was an idea I was going to scoff at, given that I do no exercise, and sometimes struggle to haul my body out of bed, never mind around an assault course…only…I didn’t scoff.  Nope, cocktails one through six for some reason convinced me that this was an amazing idea…and so I agreed to do it. 

 

So now here I am, on my lunch break, downloading a “running for weight loss” app to coach me up to 10km, so that I don’t actually die trying to do this blummin’ race.  Alcohol has a lot to answer for…as does summer…and BBQ’s.  Still, maybe if I start training now, I might get a little closer to that beach body!

Go Away Mother Nature - No'one Invited You!

It seems for me, that there comes a point on every diet plan when I have to admit that it’s no longer working for me.  Either I need the flexibility to be able to throw a ready meal in the microwave because it’s 9pm and I still haven’t eaten, or because for several weeks my weight has plateaued and I need to give it a kick start.

Slimming World didn’t work out for me in the end.  I think I became frustrated with the lack of imagination within the group setting.  I approached my leader to tell her that I’d love to see more variety than just spending an hour going round each member and discussing their half pound loss this week.  She bit back telling me I’d really upset her, and it was SW rules that dictated she run the meeting in this tedious and unhelpful format.

In her defence, she was young and new as a leader, (I hadn’t known this last part) and as I’d basically called her meetings dull and uninspiring, she probably felt like she was letting me down.  Unfortunately though her young and overly defensive reaction to my suggestion meant she could hardly look at me during the next couple of meetings, and I figured I probably wasn’t very welcome there anymore!  Recently I’ve toyed with apps such as MyFitnessPal, and various calorie counting apps, but the weight I’d lost just slowly crept back on.  I knew I needed a meeting to get me back into check, so I returned to the old faithful – Weight Watchers.

I’ve lost weight on WW before (about 22lbs ten years ago) so I know that if I stick to it religiously, it can definitely work for me, so I decided I was going to focus purely on the plan, and not factor in exercise too early.  As I went through the week, I was relieved to find following the plan fairly straight forward… However, my weigh in day is a Sunday, and on the Friday before, the dreaded monthly monster hit. 

Now let me tell you a little bit about me during those first few days of surfing the crimson wave.  I suffer from PMS like many women a few days before, and this usually manifests itself in mood swings which quite frankly will give you whiplash.  Giddy highs, through to raging temper tantrums, right down to sitting on my living room floor sobbing uncontrollably because I can’t find an angle to watch the TV at, where the light from the window isn’t reflecting onto the screen.  Honestly, I’m sat there blowing snot bubbles like a two year old, because I’m having a hormonal internal battle with myself over the fact that I’m desperate to watch another episode of Orange Is The New Black, but that it’s just not “proper” to have your curtains closed during the day,

These cray-cray mood swings pass (generally) before Aunt Flo arrives in town (I’m going to see just how many euphemisms for PERIOD I can actually get in this post), however when she does, I eat like someone’s told me the planet’s food supply is just about to run out.  I gorge myself on “naughty” food, and have been known to go to ASDA with the sole intention of stocking up on Doritos, Yum-Yums, ice cream, wine, Feminax and a plethora of sanitary products.  Seriously it’s ridiculous, but the looks of sympathy I get from the ladies on the checkout suggest I’m not unusual.  So you can understand what I’m up against - But this time I controlled myself.  I stuck to the plan…or so I thought.

 

On the Sunday, I took my bloated, cramping carcass to my first week weigh in, and was dismayed to find that I had put 1lb on!  This has got to be an all-time diet low for me.  Usually in the first week you are motivated by a great (admittedly mainly water) loss, and it spurs you on for the next week. I had expected to either stay the same or only lose half a pound because of how bloated I was, but I was pretty crushed to find I’d put on in my first week.

 

I came home, a little subdued at first, but I’m determined not to let it affect week two.  I planned my week’s meals and went straight to ASDA and shopped for the food I’d need.  I signed up for the monthly pass, and created a new Instagram account so that I could document all of my meals and helpful articles that I’ve found.  It’s a little self-indulgent I’ll admit, but if I’m going to be one of those w**kers who posts pictures of their dinner, I’d rather only people who want to see it do!  (Ooh, by the way, feel free to follow me on Instagram: @thelatenightdieter)

One of the main things I did however, was purchase a set of WW scales, which automatically calculate the SmartPoints™ in all of your food….well that was a revelation!  I measured out 40g of pasta, and realised that it is about half the size of the portion I’d been serving myself the week before! So maybe it wasn’t all bloating? I can see those little buggers are going to come in useful!

Either way I’m all set up for week two, and off to a flying start.  If you had a rubbish week too, then sod it, I figure our bodies throw us the odd curve ball to keep us on our toes…It’s all about whether you’re willing to grab that ball and throw it back.  In my case, I’m throwing it back and aiming for Mother Nature’s face!